2009: Austerity is Back in Style!

By Michael Gorsuch | January 1, 2009

Happy New Year, everyone.  May it treat you well.  It is time for me to recap and think about where I’m going.

I’m sure all of you are aware of the giant sucking sound coming from the center of the American Dream, and the frantic actions of our fearless leaders to try and ‘fix’ a system that is, in my current opinion, the victim of similar ‘fixes’ from the past.  It is not good times for anyone, and I don’t think it is going to get better anytime soon.  Still, we make do with what we have, and there is no reason that we can’t have some fun with thrift.

What’s on the list?

Health

Last year I learned that I have pretty high cholesterol, but no other serious health issues.  I took my first steps in correcting this by cutting back on the beer and trying to eat more greens.  A few months ago, I was introduced to the awesomeness of the kettle bell which makes for an excellent living room workout.  

For this coming year, I need to step up my game and take things more seriously.  I’m not going to go overboard - if I do that, I’ll just end up dropping it all.  I’m just going to gradually increase the good practices while slowly dropping off the bad ones.  

First off: beer.  I think I’m averaging about a six-pack a week.  Not too bad, but considering its noticeable affect (or is it ‘effect’?  damn it all, I need to get that straight for the New Year!) on cholesterol, I think I can reduce this or at least trade out the beer for a glass of wine.  I hear that a glass a day is a good thing for the heart, so I’ll do a little research and consider it.  I’m also taking garlic daily, which may do me well.   

Physically, if I keep up the kettle bell workouts for three days out of the week I’ll be happy.  Each session should be around 30 minutes in length.

Finally, ever since I came to Fog Creek, I’ve picked up a bad soft drink / sugar habit.  Let’s make this year about cutting out the soft drinks.  

Dental Health

This gets its own section, because I need to take this more seriously.  I brush at least twice a day, and floss every few.  I don’t think that this is particularly bad, but I have started to realize that I take cheap dentist visits for granted.  Who knows: a few years from now I might find myself without coverage, and I’d like to have been doing my part at preventing my own problems.  It could save a fortune!  

So, I got a WaterPik for Christmas.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Total geek.

Emergency Stuffs

Also for Christmas, I got a nice sleeping bag that is rated for zero degrees.  I need to get a second one for Brooke, because you just never know.  

More importantly, I need a simple First Aid kit for the house.  We have bandages all over the place, but nothing organized.

Gardening and Cooking

Last year I explored gardening and had a great time at it.  Man, oh man, it was one of the coolest things I’ve gotten into and can’t wait to get back at it.  

Last year, I didn’t have any other goal other than ‘grow stuff’.  This year, at Brooke’s suggestion, I’m going to focus on just growing salsa-related vegetables and herbs as well as one or two medicinal herbs like chamomile.

On the cooking front, well, I don’t do much of it.  I’m spoiled, as Brooke is always taking care of it.  I’ve always been nervous in the kitchen due to lack of experience, so it is time to get it figured out.  It probably doesn’t sound like much, but I’m going to start off by cooking one meal per grocery run.  It’s better than nothing.  Baby steps.

Tech Stuff

This last year has been awesome.  There has been plenty going on at Fog Creek to keep me busy, and I’ve been exploring more nuanced areas and do some basic kernel hacking.  More, more, more.

I haven’t been writing about any of the above because this doesn’t seem like the proper place for that any longer.  To make up for that I will be throwing together a dedicated tech blog this year.    

For side projects, my development language of choice will be Smalltalk.  I toyed with it a ways back, but never really sat down to write anything.  It uses a different paradigm than traditional development environments, and forces me to think differently.  I get off on that sort of thing.  For a starter project, the previously mentioned tech blog will be written in Smalltalk instead of using a canned blogging system.

Money

Save, save, save as much as possible, whenever possible.    

The Stuff the Dreams are Made Of

I’ve been digging into the nature of man and his quest towards the divine for as long as I can remember.  This year’s research and experience helps me craft the following bullet points.  Remember that all of this is my own opinion, and not meant to be an attack of whatever point of you that you subscribe to.  

  • man appears to be composed of two parts: the rational intellect and the irrational subconscious
  • we often forget that, and give good attention to the intellect while neglecting the vast irrational forces behind the curtain
  • ‘irriational’ is all too often viewed as a dirty word.  It shouldn’t be.  It is just outside of the intellect
  • ‘myth’ is another dirty word, often used synonymously with ‘fiction’.  We may be better off to redefine it as something like ‘the interaction of symbolic forces’
  • it is just as much folly to deny those irrational forces as it is to completely submit to them
  • you have ‘em, might as well get to know ‘em.  Learn to work together.  Have a beer glass of wine
  • religious practice seems to speak to these hidden forces, therefore certain practices may be quite beneficial
  • the greatest error of Western religions is their attempt to square themselves with reason.  Making claims that the world is only 6000 years old or that a holy book is literally true doesn’t do any good in a world that knows better.  Why should anyone be expected to hold contradictory ideas in their head?  What value does such literal interpretation add?  
  • such practices may have worked when our body of knowledge was much smaller or when the Church was authorized to use violence to enforce such a view, but no more
  • I was raised in a standard Protestant form of Christianity, which I couldn’t carry with me because of the reasons given above
  • nonetheless, certain symbols were most definitely imprinted
  • I’ve given a significant amount of personal time this past year to studying these symbols and myths, and have realized that I have an opportunity to ‘reformulate’ or interpret them outside of orthodox lines.  An esoteric quest, if you will
  • this seems to be the same approach that various Gnostic (and related) movements have taken throughout history and continue to do now
  • it is my current opinion that the Gnostics took the orthodox mythology and breathed a new and rich life into it, something that I look forward to exploring over the next year 

Done

That’s enough.  I’ve written too much, and need to start doing things.

I hope you all have a fruitful New Year.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

Regarding The Dalai Lama’s Comments on Sexuality

By Michael Gorsuch | November 30, 2008

The Dalai Lama, head of Tibetan Buddhism, spoke to reporters a few days ago and made a few remarks against sex that I find quite disheartening.  An exceprt:

“Sexual pressure, sexual desire, actually I think is short period satisfaction and often, that leads to more complication,” the Dalai Lama told reporters in a Lagos hotel, speaking in English without a translator.

He said conjugal life caused “too much ups and downs.

“Naturally as a human being … some kind of desire for sex comes, but then you use human intelligence to make comprehension that those couples always full of trouble. And in some cases there is suicide, murder cases,” the Dalai Lama said.

He said the “consolation” in celibacy is that although “we miss something, but at the same time, compare whole life, it’s better, more independence, more freedom.”

To be fair, he was speaking without a translator and some of this may very well be out of context.  Perhaps his greater intention was to comment on the transient nature of relationships as a whole (which can lead to suffering), and not just sexuality… but I am going to assume that he meant what he said.  Buddhism, the religion that was never supposed to be a religion, might be picking up a very disturbing idea from its neighbors on the spiritual block.    

Buddhism has long shared a good relationship with psychology and cognitive research.  There are many parallels between them, insights have been shared, and I believe that certain parties on both sides are proud of this.  Who wouldn’t be - a spiritual system that promotes liberation from one’s psychological trappings and is on good terms with modern science is a rare find!  But if the Dalai Lama means to promote ideas that are known to be harmful, then I don’t think it is unfair to say that Tibetan Buddhism is departing from both psychology and its very own roots.

It has been clearly demonstrated that the repression of the sexual instinct brings about suffering: self-loathing in the least, violation of another at the worst.  What of those Catholic priests sworn to celibacy?  What of the millions of people suffering all over the planet because they think that one of the most basic elements of their being is disgusting and shameful?  What of the murder and suicide brought on by that? No one deserves it, especially when we know better.

To the best of my knowledge, two of the core practices of Buddhism are The Middle Way and the Noble Eightfold Path.  The former expounds that in order to find enlightenment, one must practice moderation.  He should not act in one extreme or another; he shall drink, but not become intoxicated.  Celebacy does not seem to fit here, at least not as general advice for all people to follow.

The Noble Eightfold Path contains a series of eight virtues to help one along the way.  The most relevant is ‘Right Action’, which is most often explained as acting in such a way that does not bring harm to oneself or to others.  While their have been interpretations demanding chastity, the non-monastic is only required to maintain a balanced sex life if he or she chooses to have one.

Ultimately, I’d like to see the Dalai Lama comment further on this, if only to lift the fog and give clarity to his remarks.  He is a powerful spiritual leader that appears to have captured the adoration of a great many people, and therefore has a great responsibility to not cause unnecessary suffering among them.

Posted in religion | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Giving Thanks

By Michael Gorsuch | November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  Those words have more weight these days, especially when compared to the more prosperous moments of the past several years.  I hope that all of your needs are sated, and that you want for nothing.

That being said, I’d like to invite you all to consider giving to your local food bank if you are able to.  There are more and more people finding themselves in tough situations and you have the ability to offer direct relief.  Can you give $25 a month?  Would you really miss it?  If not, then please consider making this commitment.

I personally recommend either finding your local food bank (New Yorkers can go here), or doing more research at Feeding America.

Thank you, and good cheer to all.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

Support this Man’s Excellent Work!

By Michael Gorsuch | November 7, 2008

Independent game designer and artist Edmund McMillen has released his life’s work on CD - and it only costs $10.  Guys, this is quality stuff.  If I could write that in blinking text, I would damn it!   If you don’t believe, just take a look at the trailer below:


This is a rare find, and if you dream of seeing a world full of inspired art, I suggest you order a copy and show your support.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Adjustment

By Michael Gorsuch | November 5, 2008

Adjustment

I went to the polls yesterday, and marked my ballot for Obama.  It was a somewhat reluctant vote, but I considered him the better of the two by far.  I strongly believe that the Republican party has disgraced itself (to be cordial) over the past eight years, and could not see McCain as being much different.  While I’m not so excited about a number of points in Obama’s platform, I do see him as a very even, quick-minded individual that will probably be an excellent leader in the tough years ahead.

When McCain conceded and it was announced that Barak Obama was the President Elect, I think something very, very big happened.  It was like I heard a loud click last night, and the entire populace simultaneously came to the realization that things are going to be very different.  It was as if a necessary balance was restored; something that goes well beyond the past eight years.  There is a lot of garbage in the American psyche, and I believe that this election helped us reconcile some of that.  

With the election of Obama, the divisions of race have seen an enormous blow; possibly even a death knell, if I may go out on a limb.  Yeah, yeah, there will always be bigots about, but I have a great feeling that there will be far fewer of them.  Things are different.

I’m feeling at home again and that I look to the future with (cautious) optimism.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Personal Alchemy

By Michael Gorsuch | August 24, 2008

 

Temperance, Key XIV of the Waite-Smith Tarot Deck

Temperance, Key XIV of the Waite-Smith Tarot Deck

 

The Tarot can be an amazing tool for self-realization.  On one hand, it is a deck of 78 cards, much like an expanded poker deck.  On the other, it is a set of detailed images that are capable of making changes within the observer.  

I’ve read plenty of articles and books, and the opinions differ as to why these images are so evocative.  Some authors make the claim that the cards should be considered as living things; the forces depicted on the cards are real in an external sense.  Others are convinced that these images are primal archetypes that anyone can relate to, much in line with Jungian psychology.  

For me, it really doesn’t matter.  In all likelihood, it is probably a mix between these two prominent ideas.  These images reflect parts of our inherited cultural mythology as well as the ordeals that we all must go through.

Most literature on the Tarot relates to fortune telling, which is an aspect that I am certainly not interested in.  Even if it is possible, it sounds like a fine way of learning how to abjugate personal responsibility.  Why strive for change if failure is in the cards, right?  Fortunately, there are a few finer books that speak on using the Tarot for cultivating inner wisdom.

Wanting to put some of these claims of transmutation to the test, I began an experiment about six months ago.  I decided that I would spend a few minutes per day with one of the cards of the major arcana (otherwise known as the Trumps or Keys), and contemplate the symbolism.  The pace was set for one card per week in order to let the ideas set in.  I kept a detailed journal, and took some time this weekend to review my notes.

While this so-called experiment is obviously subjective, I can say that I got results.  Each week of contemplation appeared to unlock something within my subconscious that allowed me to begin to witness the forces described in the card.  For example, the image of Key I, The Magician, made it clear that the self-conscious (me, my ego) has the ability to direct the subconscious.  Key II, The High Priestess, represents the virgin subconscious and its vastness when compared to the ego.  The imagery evoked a warning of sorts, making it clear that I should be careful with what I plant within, as it could easily get out of control.

Now, these ideas are fine to read about and rationalize, as I was doing before I began my experiment, but it is not the same thing as actually contemplating and meditating on them.  I highly encourage others to take this or something similar up for themselves.  Spend a few minutes a day by first quieting the mind, and then in contemplation.  Poetry would probably be a fine thing to work with, or any religious text of interest.  If you would like to work with the Tarot, I recommend starting with the famous Waite-Smith deck.  

These fifteen minutes a day of experiential work have done more good for me than any amount of reading.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Long Descent

By Michael Gorsuch | July 30, 2008

The industrial world appears to be entering into hard times as we begin to face off with a lessening supply of easy-to-extract energy. Also, as more and more populations step up and demand that they have every right to live like Americans, it becomes much more difficult to maintain the status quo. Last year, the IEA took its usually starry-eyed gaze away from the horizon of endless growth and told us that an energy crunch is coming. Today the Dutch Clingendael Institute released a report stating that it’ll be here by 2010.

If you give this information to a sample of the population, you’ll find that people typically take one of two stances:
  1. Get ready for a Mad Max-like doomsday!
  2. Hogwash! Energy solution X will come along and save us all just in time!
It is easy to fall into one of these camps, but neither seems tenable to me. The idea of our culture completely imploding seems unlikely, but perhaps I’m wrong.  I also haven’t seen a single energy proposal that can replace petrol - certainly not quickly or without prohibitive costs.  
When one looks for a Third Way, he finds John Michael Greer well along the path. I discovered his weblog a couple of years ago and was amazed at how reasonable his writing was.  He champions the idea of a long descent - a long road of ups and downs as we adjust to a world without cheap energy.  It won’t be nice or comfortable, but it doesn’t have to be the end of everything we know.   
I was glad to find an email in my inbox today letting me know that he now has a book published.  It is aptly titled, The Long Descent.  To give you a better idea as to what is going on there, I quote a piece of the synopsis:
The Long Descent examines the basis of such fear through three core themes:
  1. Industrial society is following the same well-worn path that has led other civilizations into decline, a path involving a much slower and more complex transformation than the sudden catastrophes imagined by so many social critics today.
  2. The roots of the crisis lie in the cultural stories that shape the way we understand the world. Since problems cannot be solved with the same thinking that created thyem, these ways of thinking need to be replaced with others better suited to the needs of our time.
  3. It is too late for massive programs for top-down change; the change must come from individuals.

If this book is anything like his writing on the web, we’re in for a treat.  I highly recommend reviewing his past material for yourself, and consider picking this book up and taking personal action however you can.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

My First Dungeon Crawl

By Michael Gorsuch | July 25, 2008

I played my first game of Dungeons and Dragons today in honor of the late Gary Gygax.  It was fascinating, and unlike any other game I had ever played.  Screw video games, guys - nothing can replace the imagination of an adept dungeon master.

Our party was made up of a couple of fighters, a thief, a wizard, and a cleric - all of which were played by various awesome and imaginative Fog Creekers.  We battled a few dog faced fiends, and ultimately found victory after defeating the chief of an especially nefarious group of Kobolds.  What a way to spend lunch!
A special thanks goes to Rich for being kind enough to school a bunch of newbies and deal with our constant questions and unending sarcasm.  
Cheers, Gygax.
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Personal Philosophy

By Michael Gorsuch | July 17, 2008

I’ve been reading Bill Moyer’s new book, Moyers on Democracy, which once again prompted me to begin thinking about my own personal philosophy and values. I’ve put a lot of thought into it, but have never really tried to write it down in a coherent manner. I have always worried that doing so would pin myself to a specific ideology or creed, but perhaps I am mistaken and can benefit from the labor.

Before beginning, it should be understood that whatever I may write below is intended to apply only to myself. I have no interest in dictating how every other citizen of the world should think, nor do I think myself capable of producing a Utopian philosophy for everyone’s benefit. In fact, perhaps the only thing that I will get correct in this essay is that realization.

This leads to my first point: I am, and will always be a student. Mastery is not obtainable. Since I was a child, I have immersed myself in books of all variety and cannot imagine ever stopping. I love to listen and to be proven wrong, no matter how much it can sting. When someone approaches me and offers to teach me something, particularly something that I’m uncomfortable with, I cheer. This sort of thing happens every day - no matter how well I think I am doing, I always know that it can be better.

It is my job to keep learning, and to keep refining myself. No one else will ever do it for me, and I can never do this for anyone else. The responsibility is in my hands.

One of the best ways to learn is by doing. As an example, if one is curious about various political philosophies, don’t just read about them, but take up their banners. I’ve worn the clothes of conservatism, liberalism, and libertarianism, and have learned a great deal from each. There is no doubt that doing so has been difficult and uneven, mostly due to social pressure, but I’ve gotten better at it as time goes on.

Coinciding with the previous point is belief in personal responsibility. I own my actions and reactions. I own all all of these angers and fears that I project on to my poor friends, family, and colleagues. It is my responsibility to both evoke and banish whatever demons I have, and it is also my right to reject those of others.

I have a hard time believing that I could really do much good to my neighbors without a lot of introspection, and strongly think that one should temper themselves as a blacksmith does with his creations. Only through making a lot of mistakes could I have come to this conclusion.

Don’t get me wrong - this isn’t a cry for self-flagellation, but only for honest personal analysis. There is a lot of strangeness lurking in the background mind of Western Man, and it can only be realized and integrated through honest and willing effort.

Beyond the psychological responsibilities comes the necessity of local action. I think it is wisest to act within your sphere of influence, meaning that I need to make sure that I have my act together and am doing my best before I demand anything from anyone else. I used to spend a lot of time bitching about the President, Congress, etc, making statements such “Well, if they would only do this…”, “If we can put a man on the moon, we can surely…”, “If they didn’t have their heads so far up their asses…” - I think you get the point. Somehow I figured out to try and do better than that.

Being concerned with Peak Oil, for instance, I figured that I should make sure that I am in a position to weather an energy crunch. For starters, I had to figure out how to grow some veggies. What is involved there? How hard is it? How much do I need to supplement what I get from the current industrial food system? I have occasional problems with heartburn - is there something that I can grow that can take care of it? What about headaches?

All of this is certainly small scale stuff, but while government assistance or intervention could certainly help a lot, I think we are wasting our time waiting on that. I am of the opinion that the hackers will make the real innovation. Refine yourself, take action, and then begin influencing your neighbors.

The final point that I am going to jot down is one of fellowship or service. Considering the importance that I place on personal responsibility, and the relentless public shouting match of conservatism versus liberalism, it may seem contradictory. I consider it to be a necessity. I believe that equilibrium between individualism and community is just as important as the balance between mercy and strength. While I encourage private charity, I am also entirely supportive of public services such as health care, social security, and welfare.

It is easy to forget, especially when things are going good, that I owe a lot of people for where I am. So much of what I do is built upon the labor of others and of previous generations. In fact, as a sysadmin, most of the tools and services I use are provided by others. I just figure out how to make them work in our context and band-aid them when they break.

I believe that it is necessary to help those in need as we can. Things go bad for people, and there are an amazing amount of them that slip through the cracks. Seriously. Don’t forget about that, and don’t give me that bullshit about it all being their own fault. There are abusers, without a doubt, but there are those who are victims of circumstance. It could be you, and if things continue to degrade as they appear to be doing right now, it may very well be.

That is the end of the road for this essay, but probably the beginning of a new revision. Is it self-aggrandizing? It’s not meant to be, but later reading might show me otherwise. For now, I’d say it was worth writing if only for the sake of forcing me to collect me thoughts.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How to Repair a Corrupted Database / MDF in SQL Server 2005

By Michael Gorsuch | July 3, 2008

A customer of ours ran into some trouble when their Microsoft database server crashed and damaged their production database. All that they were able to recover from the wreckage was the original mdf and ldf files, and had to bring it up on another server. When trying to attach this database, the new server screamed claiming that the log file could not be replayed due to damage. Unfortunately, some critical changes had been put in place after their last backup, so restoring from tape was less than desirable.

Knowing that there was a fair chance at seeing data loss, we still figured we’d try and repair the database for them. I was up for the challenge, as it has been a while since I’ve had to do such a thing. I had to stumble around a bit, so I figured I’d post a simple guide for others. Again, this method is not guaranteed to restore your database with all data intact. You’ll need to run sanity checks against the data to make sure you’re not missing anything.

  1. create a virtual machine, or find a physical machine with a similar drive configuration.  If this database used to be housed on ‘d:\sqlserver’, make sure that you have an actual d:\ and a folder named ’sqlserver’ underneath it
  2. on that virtual machine, install SQL Server 2005 and build a new database called ‘repair’
  3. stop the SQL Server service, and copy your damaged MDF file over the new created for the ‘repair’ database.  Purge the ‘repair’ database’s LDF file, and ignore your damaged one.
  4. start the SQL Server service
  5. put ‘repair’ into emergency mode by running the following: ALTER DATABASE repair SET EMERGENCY
  6. put ‘repair’ into single user mode like so: ALTER DATABASE repair SET SINGLE_USER
  7. run DBCC checkdb(repair, REPAIR_ALLOW_DATA_LOSS)
  8. if all goes well, you won’t see any error messages and the db will be in as good a state as you can get it to.  If you notice any errors about created log files, make sure that you have that path on  your system and then rerun the DBCC command
  9. put ‘repair’ into multi-user mode so we can use it for production once more: ALTER DATABASE repair SET MULTI_USER
At this point, you should be back and running.  Validate your data, and re-evaluate your backup plans.  Cheers!
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

  • What is this?

    I'm Michael Gorsuch, and I blog here.

  • Um. Why?

    To keep myself sharp. While I've thought about tearing this thing down many times, I can't bring myself to do it. Writing, no matter how insignificant it is in the greater pool, forces me to articulate what's on my mind and allows me to see if it stands up.

    Diction has never been one of my strengths, and I hope to improve it, post by post.

  • OK. So What do you write about?

    Gosh. That's a tough one.

    Being a sysadmin by trade, I do like to write an occasional article about the craft, its pitfalls, and how it may be improved.

    Some of my writings touch on my personal existential struggle, some are about a new found interest in the natural world, and others are about my two cats. Alright, no cat posts, but not everything has to be so serious around here.